The Inner Cries of a Woman

Words won’t do With all she is itching to say She does not speak Instead she paints her reality on canvas Because the knots around her tongue squeeze And she is haunted by not knowing  What exactly she feels So like Dax her wish is to live in her dreams Even with legions of demons just lurking  To rush in when the veil is drawn  And the weight of her thoughts Reminds her of how lonely it gets Climbing mountains alone She fights wars within herself she may not win Against every emotion there is To end cycles while lifting bars incessantly As she tries to reinvent herself  From gyves of the past and the sneers Of those threaten by her will Yet she chooses to scorch her own heart By not burning their ears  With the pain that lives in her voice And instead of letting it all out she keeps it all in For the old slave mill Though slowly continues to spin Silhouetted against her own inner light Still black and featureless she is Though it feels like she has lost her mind With so much to say but none to fathom  She does not speak For unlike what it seems she is numb and crippled within

I Wasn’t Always Like This

I wasn’t always like this you know I was kind and optimistic  I saw the world in colors You see I wasn’t always like this I wasn’t always like this I went above and beyond my duty to help others  You see, Silly, selfless girl I used to be I wasn’t always like this  I smiled often, and laughed a lot Everyone loved me you know  Well that’s what I once believed You see, I wasn’t always like this you know I continued to give him my best In exchange for random “I miss you” text Damn him! One mistake and he didn’t hesitate. He left! I wasn’t always like this  I loved to sing, while sitting idly in the park And scream from the top of my lungs My life was filled with fun you see I wasn’t always like this I once dreamt and believed I knew how to enjoy my today’s and look forward for my tomorrow’s  With a graceful contentment I wasn’t always like this  I was bubbling with passion Because I was convinced that men could be awaken  But fear is much more powerful than love, you know I wasn’t always like this  Running away from life Welcoming whatever will shield me from what is to come next You see, I wasn’t always like this